How Many Dogs Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb

[scotto]

How Many Dogs Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb

ROTTWEILER: Just one. You want to make something of it?

DOBERMAN: Immediately decides to change the brand of lightbulb and find a
more efficient form of lighting--perhaps a fluorescent bulb.

AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD: One, but just *try* to convince them that the
burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.

JACK RUSSELL TERRIER: Two, but the job never gets done--they just keep
arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be
done!

BULLDOG: Just one. But it takes them three years to do it.

POMERANIANS don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will
get a German Shepherd in to do the job for them while they're out.

PUG: Er, two. Or maybe one. No, on second thought, make that two. Is
that OK with you?

LABORADOR RETRIEVER: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole
lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid
burned-out light bulb?

AFGHAN: Lightbulb? What lightbulb?

~CAT: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.~

SHIBA-INU: Zero! Shibas aren't afraid of the dark!

SCHIPPERKE: It's your lightbulb - change it yourself. Unless... is there food
involved??

POODLE: Sorry, Just had my nails done

BEAGLE: How many cookies do I get?

WEIMARANER: Light bulb? You want ME to change a LIGHTBULB??

LAB: Why change it? The darker it is, the longer I can sleep.

BASENJI: LIGHTBULB?? We don't change no steenking lightbulbs!!

MALAMUTE: Let him do it, you can pet me while he's busy.

BOXER: If I could stop wiggling my butt long enough to quit falling off
the chair...

AMERICAN BULLDOG: One: JUMP,remove bulb, land. JUMP, replace bulb, land.
Two: What lightbulb? So? We can play in the dark.

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: "I'll be glad to change the light bulb for you, but first
can't we play catch with the tennis ball, or frisbee - and then I want
to lick your face and rest my head in your lap and look up at you with
my sad eyes. What, you're changing the light bulb yourself - you didn't
have to do that - but I looooove you so much for being my friend and
doing that."

DALMATIAN: Just one, but it will really hate the new bulb.

ROTTWEILER: I'll change the light bulb if I can eat the old one.

CORGI: I can't reach the stupid lamp!

SPRINGER: Lightbulb? Lightbulb? That thing I just ate was a lightbulb?

STANDARD POODLE: None. Go get human, sit under it, look up and point it out.
Then go lie down in disgust that it took so long.

BORDER COLLIE: Just one. And he'll rewire the house while he's at it.

WOLFDOG: Let me see that light bulb, anyway. What's it made of, what's inside of
it, what will happen if I drop it. I might change it, but let me think
about it. You're not trying to tell me what to do, are you? Hey, I just
had a great idea. I think I'll change that light bulb!

GERMAN SHEPHERD: "I'm kinda busy right now! I have to chase the cat, protect the
kids, herd the horses, beg for food and take a nap. I'll add the
lightbulb to my 'to do' list..."

DACHSHUND: Well, first get me a ladder and a treat... no, you took too long. I
want TWO treats and I'll do it... No, not that treat, the other kind.
Geez... do I have to do everything? (of course, followed by "the look".)

IRISH SETTER: It only takes one, but it will put in a really dim bulb.

PIT BULL TERRIER: Jump and take hold of old light bulb. Now, let go of old light
bulb... I said LET GO OF LIGHT BULB. Please?? Let go of the light bulb??????

[conlor]

Perfect! You know your dogs, Scott. But what about a Greyhound? He's waiting for them to be bused in?

[scotto]

How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?

Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is:

"How long will it be before I can expect some light, and some dinner?"

ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF!