Truisms

[cb88]

TRUISMS

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.

I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.

I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.

I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a
moaner.

I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get
elected.

Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
"Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend
will be sitting next to you saying, "****...that was fun!"

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting
clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed
up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky
dunk."

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell
the difference.

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can
in prison? (good point)

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started
with something called LABOR! (true!)

Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT
cells live forever.



Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten
Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building?

Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a teacher....and since it's in English, thank a soldier." (amen!)

[conlor]

Good ones, Cherry. LOL!

[se0sea]

those were good