Angelus jokes from Scotland

[Angelus]

CREATION

First the Lord made man in the Garden of Eden.
Then he said to himself, "There's something he's needing."
After casting about for a suitable pearl,
He kept messing around and created a girl.

Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender,
Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender.
Two lovely hips to increase his desire,
And rounded and firm to bring out the fire.

Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud,
Commanding his eyes, as he whispers aloud.
Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you,
And two loving hands, to soothe and caress you.

Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder,
And two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder.


'Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing.






Then God added a mouth.




Ruined the whole d*rn thing.

[Angelus]

A man goes onto the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls,
and sat down next to a beautiful, you guessed it, blonde.

The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "Its golf balls."

Never-the-less, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and
finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked;

"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

[Angelus]

Casino Blonde

A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet $20,000 on a single roll of
the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm
completely nude."

With that she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come
on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed. "YES!YES!I WON, I WON!"

She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her
clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers starred at each other dumfounded.

Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

MORAL: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.

[conlor]

Very good, Angelus!