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Old 04-23-2004, 17:32   #1 (permalink)
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Default Kids just crack ya up!

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his
cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an
answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy
said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said:
4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• ••••••••••••••••
After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy
suddenly announced* to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."

"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"

"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• ••••••••••••••••
A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church
service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who
passed trash against us."
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• •••••••••••••••••
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.

" How do you know what to say?" he asked.

"Why, God tells me."

"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• •••••••••••••••••
A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged
on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered,
"Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• ••••••••••••••••••
Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite
Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four
people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to
represent. "The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.

"I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus,"

Ms. Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?"

"Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• ••••••••••••••••••••
The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do
you say prayers before eating?"

"No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have to. My Mom is a good
cook."
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• ••••••••••••••••••••
Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at
First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety
seven-year old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still
and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and
whispered, if you don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose
his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!'

It worked."
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• •••••••••••••••••••
A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her
a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the
book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately
stroking her own cheek, then his again.

Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"

"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."

"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"

"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while
ago."

Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting
better at it, isn't he?"
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