How to "Blow Off" a woman

[frosty0]

Men often consider blowing off a woman the most difficult part of the
dating process. The closest they ever get to telling a woman it''s
over is to look her straight in the eye and say, "I''ll call you next
week."
But now there is a great way to blow a woman off. It''s safe, it''s
affordable, and the best thing is the female has no opportunity to
throw things at you.

It''s at your fingertips right now: E-mail!

That''s how all the happening, modern kind of guys are telling women
they are not worthy. You''ll feel like a real man knowing you have
told her how you really feel from the safety of your keyboard.
And you can delete her response without ever reading it!
What could be more painless?
Following is an e-mail rejection letter. Men can use it the next time
they need to put their main squeeze on notice. The text of the letter
follows:
---------------
Dear [her name],

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further
contention to become the future Mrs. [your last name].

As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough this
year and dozens of other well-qualified candidates such as yourself
also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on
file should an opening become available.

So that you may find better success in your future romantic
endeavours, please allow me to offer the following reasons you were
disqualified from the competition:

[Men will check those that apply]

[ ] Your failure to reach for your purse in even a feigned attempt to
pay for dinner by the fourth date displayed a stunning ignorance of
basic economics.

[ ] Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms and K-Y Jelly by
the truckload" indicates that you may be slightly over-qualified for
the position.

[ ] You failed the 20 question rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions
about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.

[ ] The only question you did ask was how much money I make.

[ ] You neglected to reach over and unlock my car door from the
inside after I opened the passenger side door for you.

[ ] My breasts are bigger than yours.

[ ] Your height is out of proportion with your weight.

If you should, however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical
inches, please resubmit your application.

[ ] Your repeated comments such as, "Is it still called a ***** when
it''s this small?" were both uncalled for and thoughtless.

[ ] The way you enthusiastically jumped on stage at the alternative
bar and danced with the lesbians demonstrated that you are far too
impressionable and have a disconcerting lack of commitment to
heterosexuality.

[ ] Your revelation that you would certainly allow your ex-
boyfriendto shack up with you again after he "beats that domestic
abuse rap" shows compassion but it does make it difficult to take you
seriously.

[ ] Although your inability to achieve orgasm was of paramount
importance to me, your suggestion that we invite the basketball team
into the bedroom so it would be "just like college" seemed somewhat
extreme and inappropriate.

[ ] I am out of your league; set your sights lower next time.

Sincerely,



[Your name]

[Woodmonkey]

This is sooooo nasty!

[magic99]

Well hows this one,
Your Girl friends a vet. You and your dog both have injuries that need bandaging. She drops in saying that she only has 5 minutes, and changes the dogs bandages. When I ask if she can change mine as well, she says that I should stop being "such a Baby" and that she has "more important things to do than run aroound after me". Yet when she ran out of disprin at 10:30pm one night, she rang me up to get me to bring her some from the other side of town. Then she made me go home saying that she had a headache. I mean isn't that what the disprin are for, I was prepared to wait, but she couldn't see the logic. aah women. You can't live with them, and you aren't allowed to shoot them.

[Woodmonkey]

Originally Posted by magic99

... she says that I should stop being "such a Baby" and that she has "more important things to do than run aroound after me"..

Now you know what to say the next time she wants you to wait on her.

[conlor]

Originally Posted by frosty0

Men often consider blowing off a woman the most difficult part of the
dating process. The closest they ever get to telling a woman it''s
over is to look her straight in the eye and say, "I''ll call you next
week."
But now there is a great way to blow a woman off. It''s safe, it''s
affordable, and the best thing is the female has no opportunity to
throw things at you.

It''s at your fingertips right now: E-mail!

That''s how all the happening, modern kind of guys are telling women
they are not worthy. You''ll feel like a real man knowing you have
told her how you really feel from the safety of your keyboard.
And you can delete her response without ever reading it!
What could be more painless?
Following is an e-mail rejection letter. Men can use it the next time
they need to put their main squeeze on notice. The text of the letter
follows:
---------------
Dear [her name],

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further
contention to become the future Mrs. [your last name].

As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough this
year and dozens of other well-qualified candidates such as yourself
also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on
file should an opening become available.

So that you may find better success in your future romantic
endeavours, please allow me to offer the following reasons you were
disqualified from the competition:

[Men will check those that apply]

[ ] Your failure to reach for your purse in even a feigned attempt to
pay for dinner by the fourth date displayed a stunning ignorance of
basic economics.

[ ] Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms and K-Y Jelly by
the truckload" indicates that you may be slightly over-qualified for
the position.

[ ] You failed the 20 question rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions
about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.

[ ] The only question you did ask was how much money I make.

[ ] You neglected to reach over and unlock my car door from the
inside after I opened the passenger side door for you.

[ ] My breasts are bigger than yours.

[ ] Your height is out of proportion with your weight.

If you should, however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical
inches, please resubmit your application.

[ ] Your repeated comments such as, "Is it still called a ***** when
it''s this small?" were both uncalled for and thoughtless.

[ ] The way you enthusiastically jumped on stage at the alternative
bar and danced with the lesbians demonstrated that you are far too
impressionable and have a disconcerting lack of commitment to
heterosexuality.

[ ] Your revelation that you would certainly allow your ex-
boyfriendto shack up with you again after he "beats that domestic
abuse rap" shows compassion but it does make it difficult to take you
seriously.

[ ] Although your inability to achieve orgasm was of paramount
importance to me, your suggestion that we invite the basketball team
into the bedroom so it would be "just like college" seemed somewhat
extreme and inappropriate.

[ ] I am out of your league; set your sights lower next time.

Sincerely,



[Your name]

At least in e-mail, she won't be able to hear your frosty tone of voice.

[cominatcha]

Funny stuff man,funny stuff!