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| Icing Queen ![]() | (It's not my intention to insult any Catholics, Pentecostals or Jewish people. )SHAGGY BEAR STORY A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it. Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quick grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation." Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he proclaimed, "Well brothers, you know that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I found me a bear. And then I began to preach to him, but that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took hold of him and we began to rassle. We rassled down one hill, up another and down another until we came to a creek. So I quick dunked him and baptized his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb." They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and in traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, "You fellows don't know what trouble is until you try to circumcise a bear!
__________________ Your memory is our keepsake, With which we'll never part. God has you in his keeping, We have you in our hearts. ~2004 winner of The Outreach Award ~2005 co-winner of The Bronze Button Award ~March 2006 Perv of the Month ~Sept 2006, Oct 2007 - MOTM ~2007 Oct-Dec MOTQ ~2007 Female Silver Raincoat Recipient ~2007 MOTY |
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| Racy Ol' Lady ![]() | Quote:
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__________________ Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death! MOTM, Jan 2005, Aug 2007 Golden Cookie Award, 2005. Aug 2006 Perv of the Month Perv. Outreach Award, 2007 | |
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