Go Back   Trackpads Community > General Discussions > Humor

Humor Jokes, Jokes and more Joke! Get an interesting one in the email? Share it!

Humor

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-09-2005, 18:37   #1 (permalink)
Icing Queen
 
conlor's Avatar
My Awards Rack
Silver Staff Service Medal Silver Reputation  Medal Gold Commanders Coin Silver Commanders Coin Silver Commanders Coin Army Service Button Silver Community Medal 1 Blue Star 
Total Awards: 9
My Mood
Status
conlor is online now
Post Count
23,707
My Photos
My Photos: 1
Staff Title
EDIV Trivia Coordinator
Member Flags
United States Undisclosed
My Referrals
My Referrals: 1
Personal Guestbook
Reputation +/-
conlor has a reputation beyond reputeconlor has a reputation beyond reputeconlor has a reputation beyond reputeconlor has a reputation beyond reputeconlor has a reputation beyond reputeconlor has a reputation beyond reputeconlor has a reputation beyond reputeconlor has a reputation beyond reputeconlor has a reputation beyond reputeconlor has a reputation beyond reputeconlor has a reputation beyond repute
Other Swag
T-Bucks: 125,318.00
Bank: 43,749.28
Total T-Bucks: 169,067.28
     
     
 

 
Default The latest directive from CENTCOM

The latest directive from CENTCOM

1. All commanders promulgate upon receipt.

2. The following T-shirts are no longer to be worn on or off base by any military or civilian personnel serving in the Middle East:

"Eat Pork Or Die" [both English and Arabic versions]

"Shrine Busters" [Various. Show burning minarets or bomb/artillery shells impacting Islamic shrines. Some with unit logos.]

"Napalm, Sticks Like Crazy" [Both English and Arabic versions]

"Goat - it isn't just for breakfast any more." [Both English
and Arabic versions]

"The road to Paradise begins with me." [Mostly Arabic versions but some in English. Some show sniper scope cross-hairs]

"Guns don't kill people - I kill people." [Both Arabic and English versions]

"Pork. The other white meat.' [Arabic version]

"Infidel" [English, Arabic and other coalition force languages.]

3
. The above T-shirts are to be removed from Post Exchanges upon receipt of this directive.

4. The following signs are to be removed upon receipt of this message:

"Islamic Religious Services Will Be Held at the Firing Range At 0800 Daily."

"Do we really need 'smart bombs' to drop on these dumb bastards?"

5. All commands are instructed to implement sensitivity training upon receipt.
__________________
Your memory is our keepsake, With which we'll never part. God has you in his keeping, We have you in our hearts.

~2004 winner of The Outreach Award
~2005 co-winner of The Bronze Button Award
~March 2006 Perv of the Month
~Sept 2006, Oct 2007 - MOTM
~2007 Oct-Dec MOTQ
~2007 Female Silver Raincoat Recipient
~2007 MOTY
conlor is online now  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Trackpads Information
Click to Visit
Old 07-09-2005, 19:22   #2 (permalink)
Fallen Member
 
USA11B's Avatar
My Awards Rack
Navy Service Button Army Service Button Bronze Community Medal Bronze Threads Medal 
Total Awards: 4
My Mood
Status
USA11B is offline
Post Count
1,790
My Photos
My Photos: 0
Member Flags
United States Undisclosed
My Referrals
My Referrals: 0
Personal Guestbook
Reputation +/-
USA11B is a name known to allUSA11B is a name known to allUSA11B is a name known to allUSA11B is a name known to allUSA11B is a name known to allUSA11B is a name known to allUSA11B is a name known to allUSA11B is a name known to allUSA11B is a name known to allUSA11B is a name known to allUSA11B is a name known to all
Other Swag
T-Bucks: 2,616.00
Bank: 0.00
Total T-Bucks: 2,616.00

 
Default Re: The latest directive from CENTCOM

I had to double check to ensure this was in the Humor Thread... It seemes so...so...so.. so..you know
USA11B is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-09-2005, 19:41   #3 (permalink)
UN TIPO DIFICIL
 
kepiblanc's Avatar
My Awards Rack
Gold Staff Service Medal Bronze Gallery Medal Silver Commanders Coin Silver Commanders Coin Bronze Community Medal Bronze Threads Medal 
Total Awards: 6
My Mood
Status
kepiblanc is offline
Post Count
3,955
My Photos
My Photos: 594
Staff Title
Moderator
Member Flags
Argentina Undisclosed
My Referrals
My Referrals: 0
Personal Guestbook
Reputation +/-
kepiblanc has much to be proud ofkepiblanc has much to be proud ofkepiblanc has much to be proud ofkepiblanc has much to be proud ofkepiblanc has much to be proud ofkepiblanc has much to be proud ofkepiblanc has much to be proud ofkepiblanc has much to be proud ofkepiblanc has much to be proud ofkepiblanc has much to be proud ofkepiblanc has much to be proud of
Other Swag
T-Bucks: 41,755.00
Bank: 0.00
Total T-Bucks: 41,755.00
 

 
Default Re: The latest directive from CENTCOM

JUAJUAJUAJ!!!!!
TRANSLATION=LAUGH
VERY GOOD!!!!




















__________________
kepiblanc is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-09-2005, 20:06   #4 (permalink)
Monkey Mouse
 
Woodmonkey's Avatar
My Awards Rack
Gold Staff Service Medal Gold Reputation Medal Bronze Referrals Medal Bronze Magazine Medal Silver Gallery Medal Gold Donations Award 2 Blue Star Silver Donations Award 
Total Awards: 12
My Mood
My Mood:
Status
Woodmonkey is offline
Post Count
57,771
My Photos
My Photos: 108
Staff Title
Trackpads XO
Member Flags
United States us connecticut
My Referrals
My Referrals: 15
Personal Guestbook
Reputation +/-
Woodmonkey has a reputation beyond reputeWoodmonkey has a reputation beyond reputeWoodmonkey has a reputation beyond reputeWoodmonkey has a reputation beyond reputeWoodmonkey has a reputation beyond reputeWoodmonkey has a reputation beyond reputeWoodmonkey has a reputation beyond reputeWoodmonkey has a reputation beyond reputeWoodmonkey has a reputation beyond reputeWoodmonkey has a reputation beyond reputeWoodmonkey has a reputation beyond repute
Petz
Other Swag
T-Bucks: 65,817.86
Bank: 1,214,683.76
Total T-Bucks: 1,280,501.62
     
     
     

 
Default Re: The latest directive from CENTCOM

Quote:
Originally Posted by conlor
The latest directive from CENTCOM

1. All commanders promulgate upon receipt.

2. The following T-shirts are no longer to be worn on or off base by any military or civilian personnel serving in the Middle East:

"Eat Pork Or Die" [both English and Arabic versions]

"Shrine Busters" [Various. Show burning minarets or bomb/artillery shells impacting Islamic shrines. Some with unit logos.]

"Napalm, Sticks Like Crazy" [Both English and Arabic versions]

"Goat - it isn't just for breakfast any more." [Both English
and Arabic versions]

"The road to Paradise begins with me." [Mostly Arabic versions but some in English. Some show sniper scope cross-hairs]

"Guns don't kill people - I kill people." [Both Arabic and English versions]

"Pork. The other white meat.' [Arabic version]

"Infidel" [English, Arabic and other coalition force languages.]

3
. The above T-shirts are to be removed from Post Exchanges upon receipt of this directive.

4. The following signs are to be removed upon receipt of this message:

"Islamic Religious Services Will Be Held at the Firing Range At 0800 Daily."

"Do we really need 'smart bombs' to drop on these dumb bastards?"

5. All commands are instructed to implement sensitivity training upon receipt.
I see nothing wrong with any of these. Does this mean I need sensitivy training?
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How May I Help You?





PM me through this link if clicking on those banners doesn't help with your questions

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Woodmonkey is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-09-2005, 20:11   #5 (permalink)
Icing Queen
 
conlor's Avatar
My Awards Rack
Silver Staff Service Medal Silver Reputation  Medal Gold Commanders Coin Silver Commanders Coin Silver Commanders Coin Army Service Button Silver Community Medal 1 Blue Star 
Total Awards: 9
My Mood
Status
conlor is online now
Post Count
23,707
My Photos
My Photos: 1
Staff Title
EDIV Trivia Coordinator
Member Flags
United States Undisclosed
My Referrals
My Referrals: 1
Personal Guestbook
Reputation +/-
conlor has a reputation beyond reputeconlor has a reputation beyond reputeconlor has a reputation beyond reputeconlor has a reputation beyond reputeconlor has a reputation beyond reputeconlor has a reputation beyond reputeconlor has a reputation beyond reputeconlor has a reputation beyond reputeconlor has a reputation beyond reputeconlor has a reputation beyond reputeconlor has a reputation beyond repute
Other Swag
T-Bucks: 125,318.00
Bank: 43,749.28
Total T-Bucks: 169,067.28
     
     
 

 
Default Re: The latest directive from CENTCOM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Woodmonkey
I see nothing wrong with any of these. Does this mean I need sensitivy training?
LMAO! We'll set up a class soon. It'll take about 3 years of planning.
__________________
Your memory is our keepsake, With which we'll never part. God has you in his keeping, We have you in our hearts.

~2004 winner of The Outreach Award
~2005 co-winner of The Bronze Button Award
~March 2006 Perv of the Month
~Sept 2006, Oct 2007 - MOTM
~2007 Oct-Dec MOTQ
~2007 Female Silver Raincoat Recipient
~2007 MOTY
conlor is online now  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-10-2005, 00:09   #6 (permalink)
Monkey Mouse
 
Woodmonkey's Avatar
My Awards Rack
Gold Staff Service Medal Gold Reputation Medal Bronze Referrals Medal Bronze Magazine Medal Silver Gallery Medal Gold Donations Award 2 Blue Star Silver Donations Award 
Total Awards: 12
My Mood
My Mood:
Status
Woodmonkey is offline
Post Count
57,771
My Photos
My Photos: 108
Staff Title
Trackpads XO
Member Flags
United States us connecticut
My Referrals
My Referrals: 15
Personal Guestbook
Reputation +/-
Woodmonkey has a reputation beyond reputeWoodmonkey has a reputation beyond reputeWoodmonkey has a reputation beyond reputeWoodmonkey has a reputation beyond reputeWoodmonkey has a reputation beyond reputeWoodmonkey has a reputation beyond reputeWoodmonkey has a reputation beyond reputeWoodmonkey has a reputation beyond reputeWoodmonkey has a reputation beyond reputeWoodmonkey has a reputation beyond reputeWoodmonkey has a reputation beyond repute
Petz
Other Swag
T-Bucks: 65,817.86
Bank: 1,214,683.76
Total T-Bucks: 1,280,501.62
     
     
     

 
Default Re: The latest directive from CENTCOM

Quote:
Originally Posted by conlor
LMAO! We'll set up a class soon. It'll take about 3 years of planning.
Oh Good! I have free reign until then!
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How May I Help You?





PM me through this link if clicking on those banners doesn't help with your questions

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Woodmonkey is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-11-2005, 11:25   #7 (permalink)
unrepentant grunt
 
filthybeast's Avatar
My Awards Rack
Gold Staff Service Medal Gold Reputation Medal Silver Commanders Coin Silver Commanders Coin Gold Donations Award Army Service Button Gold Community Medal Silver Threads Medal 
Total Awards: 9
My Mood
My Mood:
Status
filthybeast is offline
Post Count
34,282
My Photos
My Photos: 0
Staff Title
General Discussions Moderator
Member Flags
United States us california
My Referrals
My Referrals: 1
Personal Guestbook
Reputation +/-
filthybeast has a brilliant futurefilthybeast has a brilliant futurefilthybeast has a brilliant futurefilthybeast has a brilliant futurefilthybeast has a brilliant futurefilthybeast has a brilliant futurefilthybeast has a brilliant futurefilthybeast has a brilliant futurefilthybeast has a brilliant futurefilthybeast has a brilliant futurefilthybeast has a brilliant future
Other Swag
T-Bucks: 124,275.64
Bank: 13,710,972.05
Total T-Bucks: 13,835,247.69