Tax Forms, Long vs Short

[Snowden]

A quick thought before we begin .....
Ah, spring and the month of April. The chirping of birds, the fresh smell of flowers, the sunny days ... and the time that taxes are due. Yes, it's that time of year, when you put sum 5A into slot 6B, subtract the lesser of 12Z or 11Q from 10C, check the number of boxes entered and enter the number of checkered boxes, and try to figure out of you weight more than last year's tax return. I just did my taxes and when I was done I was happy to see that I'm getting a refund ... look at the money the government is giving to me ... until I thought, "Hey, it was MY money to begin with!" -Tom

The difference between the short tax form and long tax form is simple.
If you use the short form, the government gets your money.
If you use the long form, the accountant gets your money.


IRS Audit
(For those of you who are not in the United States, the IRS is the Internal Revenue Service.
Those are the folks to whom we pay our taxes each April 15th).

The owner of a small New York sandwich deli was being questioned by an IRS agent about his tax return.
He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the year.
"Why don't you people leave me alone?" the deli owner said. "I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out,
the place is only closed three days a year. And you want to know how I made $80,000?"
"It's not your income that bothers us," the agent said. "It's these travel deductions. You listed six trips to Florida
for you and your wife."
"Oh, that," the owner said smiling. "It is a legitimate business expense because we also deliver."


IRS Questions
This comes from Donna Patterson Wilson, who answered thousands of IRS-directed questions from an
often-confused public. She kept a special list of the strangest of these calls.

Caller: I want to know if I should file married or single.
IRS: Are you married?
Caller: Well, sort of ...
IRS: What?
Caller: Well, we did get married, but we're not counting on it.

Caller: I got a letter from you guys and I want to know what you want.
IRS: What does it say?
Caller: Just a minute, I'll open it.

Caller: I'm a bookkeeper and I need to know if ten $100 bills make a thousand dollars or only ten hundred dollars.
IRS: Both. It's the same amount.
Caller: So why do I get a different answer every time I move the decimal point?

Caller: What does the law say about people who are renting to relatives and taking a loss on the property?
IRS: You are required to charge them fair market value.
Caller: It's very fair. If we rented to someone else we could get a lot more.

Caller: Could you please send me some of those WD-40's?

[Jacklou59]

Originally Posted by Snowden

A quick thought before we begin .....
Ah, spring and the month of April. The chirping of birds, the fresh smell of flowers, the sunny days ... and the time that taxes are due. Yes, it's that time of year, when you put sum 5A into slot 6B, subtract the lesser of 12Z or 11Q from 10C, check the number of boxes entered and enter the number of checkered boxes, and try to figure out of you weight more than last year's tax return. I just did my taxes and when I was done I was happy to see that I'm getting a refund ... look at the money the government is giving to me ... until I thought, "Hey, it was MY money to begin with!" -Tom

The difference between the short tax form and long tax form is simple.
If you use the short form, the government gets your money.
If you use the long form, the accountant gets your money.


IRS Audit
(For those of you who are not in the United States, the IRS is the Internal Revenue Service.
Those are the folks to whom we pay our taxes each April 15th).

The owner of a small New York sandwich deli was being questioned by an IRS agent about his tax return.
He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the year.
"Why don't you people leave me alone?" the deli owner said. "I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out,
the place is only closed three days a year. And you want to know how I made $80,000?"
"It's not your income that bothers us," the agent said. "It's these travel deductions. You listed six trips to Florida
for you and your wife."
"Oh, that," the owner said smiling. "It is a legitimate business expense because we also deliver."


IRS Questions
This comes from Donna Patterson Wilson, who answered thousands of IRS-directed questions from an
often-confused public. She kept a special list of the strangest of these calls.

Caller: I want to know if I should file married or single.
IRS: Are you married?
Caller: Well, sort of ...
IRS: What?
Caller: Well, we did get married, but we're not counting on it.

Caller: I got a letter from you guys and I want to know what you want.
IRS: What does it say?
Caller: Just a minute, I'll open it.

Caller: I'm a bookkeeper and I need to know if ten $100 bills make a thousand dollars or only ten hundred dollars.
IRS: Both. It's the same amount.
Caller: So why do I get a different answer every time I move the decimal point?

Caller: What does the law say about people who are renting to relatives and taking a loss on the property?
IRS: You are required to charge them fair market value.
Caller: It's very fair. If we rented to someone else we could get a lot more.

Caller: Could you please send me some of those WD-40's?

Thats so true,the more you got the more they want, and the rich don't pay