Because I'm A Man

[Snowden]

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia has set in; calling AAA is not an option. I will win.
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Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood
and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man
shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these
things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't, know
where to start." We will then drink beer and break wind as a form of holy communion.
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Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this should not be a problem.
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Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the
store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like
"cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.
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Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist
on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as
much, once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
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Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show
looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator).....applies to engineers mainly.
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Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The
answer is always either sex, cars, football, or baseball. I have to make up
something else when you ask, so don't ask.
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Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother
come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more
than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need
to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
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Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances
are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't....and if you are feeling
amorous afterwards...then I will certainly at least remember the name and
recommend it to others.
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Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you
were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine.
With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine.
Can we just go now?
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Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2005, I will share
equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest...... like
wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.
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This has been a public service message for Women to better understand Men.

[USA11B]

Its about time!!

[Snowden]

Originally Posted by USA11B

Its about time!!

Let's hope it works, Don.

[USMC5831]

You say these things as if it is a bad thing.

[drs84]

I feel as though I might now better understand men, but the funny thing is my boyfriend spends more time getting ready then I do ...should I seek him help?

[Snowden]

Originally Posted by drs84

I feel as though I might now better understand men, but the funny thing is my boyfriend spends more time getting ready then I do ...should I seek him help?

Not if he's putting on a tuxedo, hon - those little studs take time!

[drs84]

Originally Posted by Snowden

Not if he's putting on a tuxedo, hon - those little studs take time!

LOL...I bet!!! I remember how long it took him to put on his Dress Blues. Sadly those days are over. I don't want to think how long it's going to take for him to put on a tuxedo, those things come with bow-ties.