Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take it back

[drs84]

Here are the testimonials of
a few people who did...

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked
loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I
turned
around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say
a
word.

He knew better.



I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I
was
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for
several
minutes, I was approached by one of the good- looking gentlemen who
works at
the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at
him
and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."



My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the
boy
behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
just
looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the
boy
grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister
has
never let me forget.


While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some
pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her
after
receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I
told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be
punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice
just as
threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma
that
I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was
deafening
after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they
were
doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank
with
my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind
me
were screams of laughter!!


Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
three-year-old
son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him
constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands.
It was
very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled
something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter,
and she
was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a
while,
so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said, "No." I kept thinking,
"Oh
Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with
me."
Then I said, "Dan! ny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No,"
he
replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the
smell
was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have
an
accident?" This time he jumpe! d! up, yanked down his pants, bent over
and
spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30
people
nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up
his
pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me
for the
best laugh they'd ever had!


This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
before
she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any? A
true
story. We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed
to
have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob,
where's
that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to
leave the
set, ! but half the crew did too!

[conlor]

Funny!

[USMC5831]

LMAO now that is funny.