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| Racy Ol' Lady ![]() | THIS WILL PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE Nice little tribute to a man who DID make a difference: May 29, 1903 - July 27, 2003 ON TURNING 70 "You still chase women, but only downhill". ON TURNING 80 "That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing." ON TURNING 90 "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." ON TURNING 100 " I don't feel old. In fact I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap." ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER, BOXING "I ruined my hands in the ring ... the referee kept stepping on them." ON SAILORS "They spend the first six days of each week sowing their wild oats, then they go to church on Sunday and pray for crop failure." ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR "Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover'." ON GOLF "Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees." ON PRESIDENTS " I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six." ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER " When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, 'Congratulations. You have an eight-pound ham'." ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL "I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it." ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY "Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother." ON HIS SIX BROTHERS "That's how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom." ON HIS EARLY FAILURES " I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me." ON GOING TO HEAVEN "I've done benefits for ALL religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality."
__________________ Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death! MOTM, Jan 2005, Aug 2007 Golden Cookie Award, 2005. Aug 2006 Perv of the Month Perv. Outreach Award, 2007 |
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| Icing Queen ![]() |
__________________ Your memory is our keepsake, With which we'll never part. God has you in his keeping, We have you in our hearts. ~2004 winner of The Outreach Award ~2005 co-winner of The Bronze Button Award ~March 2006 Perv of the Month ~Sept 2006, Oct 2007 - MOTM ~2007 Oct-Dec MOTQ ~2007 Female Silver Raincoat Recipient ~2007 MOTY |
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