Assorted humor

[ebbabc]

Pun

Since Dad very much despises poetry,
I guess one might say he's averse to verse.
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Don't Dare Discuss it!
Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a friendly, jovial man.
But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him--his height.
Or, should I say, his lack of it.
One day he stormed through the door and announced angrily,
"Someone just picked my pocket!"
Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for one who blurted out,
"How could anyone stoop so low?"
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Doctors' Orders
A man stubbed his toe so badly he decided to go to the doctor.
When he arrived at the office, the nurse directed him to remove his clothes and wait in the next room.
"I just hurt my toe," complained the man. "Why do I need to take off my clothes?"
"Everyone who sees the doctor has to undress," explained the nurse politely. "It's our policy."
"Well, I think it's a stupid policy! Making me undress just to look at my toe! Geeez!"
From the next room another man's voice piped up. . .

.. . . . "That's nothing! I just came here to fix the telephone!"
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An Ideal Husband
I was trying to discuss plans for the weekend with my husband and said that I wanted to see
An Ideal Husband.
Wearily he put down his newspaper. "I'm sure you do, dear," he said. "But let's face it, you're stuck with me."
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Hansi, our parakeet, quickly became a valued and affectionate member of the family.
I thought it would be great if he could say his name, so I repeated time and again, "Hansi,"
as he perched on my shoulder or finger. But as the weeks passed by, I became exceedingly frustrated
when my "What’s your name?" remained unanswered.
Then, one evening as I was sitting at my desk, our feathered friend perched opposite me,
spread his wings and demanded, "What’s your name, dammit?"
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I’ve reached an age when I tend to repeat favourite family anecdotes, unaware that I’ve told them before.
Once, I was fondly recalling an incident when it occurred to me that this might be one of those times.
"You know your father’s getting old," I apologized, "when he repeats a story he’s told you before."
Gallantly, my son replied, "You know your son’s getting old, Dad, when he doesn’t remember that he’s already heard it."

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