The wedding's off -- see you in court!

[Woodmonkey]

The wedding's off -- see you in court!


Instead of walking down the aisle of a church, a former New York couple will traipse down the aisle of a court room to settle a fight over a $48,800 diamond engagement ring.

Dean Kuehnen Jr. is suing his ex-fiance, Andria Castellano, to compel her to either return the ring or give him cash -- as well as cover his legal fees and costs, according to the complaint filed in New York State Court.

Castellano has threatened to sell or destroy the 3.23-carat ring, even though the couple agreed the ring would be returned to Kuehnen if their engagement was ever broken off, the complaint says.

Both were 21 years old when they became engaged in December last year, but by September this year the wedding was off.

"The sole and exclusive consideration, motivation and reason for buying the ring was the contemplated marriage," the complaint says.

Attempts to contact Castellano were unsuccessful.

According to the United States' Emily Post Institute that offers etiquette and manners advice, "if an engagement is broken, the bride should immediately return the ring to her former fiance."

"The only "but" in this case is if the ring is a family heirloom of the bride's. She should then keep the ring," the institute said on its Web site.

The Source

[satin_patriot]

On the other hand, the engagement ring is rumored to have come about as a way of reimbursing the bride for a sullied reputation, should an engagement be called off. The idea was (in theory-- I don't know how true this is) that a woman's true value was in her virginity, and many women lost that during the engagement period. Therefore, if the wedding never happened, the ring would, in some way, pay her back for the nosedive her worth had taken on the general market. Its sale could potentially aid her in starting over. Therefore, the engagement ring is just exactly for that purpose-- for the bride to keep in the event of a, well, shall we say, non-event. Some states have laws written to that effect, I'm told.

I wonder if Ms. Post was discussing an engagement ended by the fiance or the fiancee, or did she differentiate?

[Woodmonkey]

According to Miss Manners, the ring is given in anticipation of a wedding and, if the wedding doesn't take place, then the man gets the ring back.

[conlor]

I've always heard that if the bride breaks the engagement, she gives the ring back. If he breaks it, she keeps it.

What I'm wondering is, where did a 21 year old get that kind of money for a ring?!?!?

[Woodmonkey]

Originally Posted by conlor

I've always heard that if the bride breaks the engagement, she gives the ring back. If he breaks it, she keeps it.

According to Miss Manners, he gets it back if the wedding is called off regardless of who did it.

What I'm wondering is, where did a 21 year old get that kind of money for a ring?!?!?

Credit card?

[SherryGrace]

Several states have specific laws regarding the ring...

http://marriage.about.com/od/rings/a/ringreturn.htm

Engagement Ring Laws

From Sheri & Bob Stritof,
Your Guide to Marriage.
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Who Gets the Ring?

Although etiquette rules that an engagement ring should be returned when a wedding is called off regardless of who broke the engagement, the legal system has differing opinions on this issue.
Some of the circumstances that determine if an engagement ring has to be returned include where you live, how you received the engagement ring, and who broke the engagement.
<H3>Conditional Gift States</H3>Many courts look at an engagement ring as a conditional gift that is given in contemplation of marriage. If there is no marriage, then the engagement ring needs to be returned.

Iowa
Kansas
Michigan
New Jersey
New Mexico
New York
Pennsylvania
Wisconsin

The courts also have held in these states that the reasoning for no-fault divorces holds for no-fault broken engagements so an engagement ring should always be returned regardless of who decided to call off the engagement.
<H3>Implied Conditional States</H3>In these locales, if the guy breaks the engagement, he won't get the ring back. <H5>
If he doesn't break the engagement, he can request its return. </H5>

California

<H3>Unconditional Gift States</H3>Other courts have held the belief that an engagement ring is an unconditional gift and so it doesn't need to be given back.

Montana

<H3>Family Heirloom Engagement Rings</H3>If you are considering giving a family heirloom engagement ring, legal experts recommend having a prenuptial agreement that lists who will keep the engagement ring in the event of a break up.

When a gentleman proposes, with a ring, what happens?

He presents the ring and asks a woman to marry him. If she doesn't intend to marry him, she says no and gives the ring back. Therefore, the ring IS NOT a gift...its a symbol of commitment. If it was a gift, then she would keep it, no matter her answer to the question of marriage.

Therefore, if the commitment is not entered into and as a result the ring is not accepted by the female...then it stands to reason that if the commitment is later broken and ceases to exist...the ring's meaning no longer exists and it should be returned.

But I promise you this...if HE breaks it off...he's NOT getting the ring back.