Herding Cats - It Ain't For Woosies

[Woodmonkey]

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[conlor]

I love it, Katie! I'm going to send it to The Cat Lady. (She only has 33 right now.)

[Woodmonkey]

Originally Posted by conlor

I love it, Katie! I'm going to send it to The Cat Lady. (She only has 33 right now.)

I remember her.

[las47032]

Cat herding like driving cattle, sometimes there a few that are bunch quiters. They go their own way and not with the herd. Should you encounter a stray cat or two, here are stern rules for handling alley cats.

1. Stray cats will not be fed at this house, and are not to come inside for any reason.

2. Okay, the stray cat can hang around outside but will not be fed anything except dry cat food.

3. Okay, the stray cat will not be fed anything except dry cat food
moistened with a little milk.

4. Okay, the stray cat will not be fed anything except dry cat food
moistened with warm milk, yummy treats, and leftover fish scraps.

5. The stray cat will not be encouraged to make this house its permanent residence, and must stay outside and will not be petted, played with, or picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.

(It starts to rain. Stray cat is now looking in the window with a pitiful
expression.)

6. Okay, the stray cat can come inside but must stay in the sunroom and off the furniture.

7. Okay, the stray cat that is in the sunroom can be petted, played with, picked up and cuddled but will absolutely not be given a name.

(Having canvassed the neighborhood, finding no one to claim the stray cat…)

10. The stray cat will be allowed to visit all the rooms of the house, but
will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen its claws on the furniture.

11. Okay, the stray cat will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.

12. Okay, the stray cat will be permitted on all furniture but must sharpen claws on new $114.99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches and must leave the dog alone.

13. Okay, the stray cat can sharpen it’s claws on the furniture and pester the dog, but must answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.

14. Okay, the stray cat will answer the call of nature in the three-piece,
high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter in the
sunroom.

15. Okay, the stray cat will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room, because the dog retaliated for the cat’s attacks by turning over the plastic tray and liberally applying kitty-litter to an entire floor in the house.

16. The stray cat can sleep in the house, but will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.

17. Okay, the stray cat will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic lambs wool pillow. But under no circumstances will the stray cat be allowed to sleep in our bed.

18. Okay, the stray cat will be allowed to sleep on our bed, but must stay at the foot and not under the covers.

19. Okay, the stray cat may sleep in our bed under the covers but must stay at the foot, and away from the dog.

20. Okay, the cat and dog can both sleep anywhere they want as long as they stop getting everyone in the house out of bed at regular intervals every night.

21. Okay, the cat can sleep anywhere it wants, but the dog has to sleep in the sunroom!

[conlor]

LMAO, LAS! That's the way it usually goes. Except the Cat Lady really has two outside cats that she's started feeding. One belonged to a Vietnam vet who killed himself a few months ago. They're in a trailer park and she started feeding the cat, who's always been an outdoor cat. Another cat started coming around when it knew the food was there. They're her cats now, but she says she'll never let them inside because they're used to being outside. I'm waiting for cold weather, to find out is she followed your instructions above.

[JudyLynne]

Cool! 33 cats Wow! Please keep us posted on the 2 "outside" cats.

[las47032]

Originally Posted by conlor

LMAO, LAS! That's the way it usually goes. Except the Cat Lady really has two outside cats that she's started feeding. One belonged to a Vietnam vet who killed himself a few months ago. They're in a trailer park and she started feeding the cat, who's always been an outdoor cat. Another cat started coming around when it knew the food was there. They're her cats now, but she says she'll never let them inside because they're used to being outside. I'm waiting for cold weather, to find out is she followed your instructions above.

Cat lady has 33 cats! Are all them indoor cats! Imagine the pet food bill.

The two cats she adopted, I suppose they are used to the cold and winter temps.