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Old 12-05-2005, 20:13   #1 (permalink)
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Default A Christmas Story
A Christmas Story

'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my a$$ for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady biatches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those a$$holes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny.
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little shiats
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat a$$ and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year
now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde.
I'm going SOUTH for the season.

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Old 12-05-2005, 22:34   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Christmas Story
Why the old gnome! I wonder how much the blonde set him back..
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Old 12-06-2005, 11:35   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Christmas Story
I showed this to Mary and Momma. I have been advised to back away slowly and leave my wallet.
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Old 12-06-2005, 11:40   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Christmas Story
See, not everyone has lost the Christmas Spirit - Yeah Momma!!!
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Old 12-07-2005, 16:00   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Christmas Story
There's no Christmas this year
now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde.
I'm going SOUTH for the season.

Sorry guys, but I think I am the "blonde". OH OH OH & Merry Christmas!
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who know you but don't know GOD,
will come to know GOD because
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