Need advice for a real good friend

[JohnRN]

Hey y'all

I met a good friend of mine after a wekk or so today. We had fun, hung out, had steak. On an impulse, drove all the way to Niagara Falls at 1 dark 30 and just hung out.

Well, I'm worried about her.

She confided in me that she's 'afraid' of men accosting her. A few days ago, she was in Canada and complete strangers have been approaching her and asking her to 'hang out' etc. She politely refuses and walks away but sometimes she is followed.

She told me that she's been able to shake 'em off a couple of times but is afraid that one day it's gonna happen in a place where there are no "public places" for her to walk to and seek comfort in a crowd.

She says that it's happened 6 times in the past week alone!

My friend is the sweetest, kindest person you ever knew. Helpful and gentle to all. I feel rotten that I don't seem to be able to help her.

I would ideally suggest self-defence - pepper spray or mace. (sorry, firearms are out of the question. I would love to show her how a 0.45 ACP up someone's rear-end would certainly make them reconsider their actions, it's just not possible. Plus, we are immigrants and hence, it might be illegal. There are other issues as well)

But I don't want to put it across in a very blunt manner and scare her off that prospect.

But in anycase, I feel at a loss to suggest any good means of protection or course of action.

Any ideas out there? Please help me help my friend.

[Jacklou59]

Tell Her To Get A Cellphone And Call The Police. Stalking Is Against The Law. If She Makes A Police Report They Will Watch Her.however Maybe Your Friend Is Making This All Up To Get Attention. You Be The Judge Of That Idea. Have To Look At Every Angle Just As The Police Will Do. Hope This Helps

[JohnRN]

Well, I'm pretty sure she isn't making this up.

I understand why you could have brought that up - but I'm sure that's not the case.

[cb88]

been there done that.....


Making a police report is a good start....names, descriptions, etc.

Cell phone is a great thing....no woman should be without it this day and age.

Once she's made the police report, if she notices them around her again in broad day light (same guys) I would suggest if it's a public place her turning around and confronting them in this manner -- "I feel very uncomfortable with you following me. I've made a police report and I would suggest that you leave me alone as the next time I see you I will pick up my cell phone and call the police"

Make sure it's day time in a VERY public place (occupied by others). She doesn't need to scream it....and she should say it confidently and calmly. If she shows fear, then she's lost. She should not confront them in that manner if she doesn't have the confidence to pull it off.

Beyond that....self defense classes are great. Mace is wonderful.

I know some might disagree about confronting...but if they haven't tired to attack her, my guess is they are just stupid idiots making her feel uncomfortable and if she can do it in a public place in broad day light, it might just be the warning they need. OR, file the police report and the next time she sees them, call the police while they are following her and let them confront the punks.

Either way.

[JohnRN]

Ok, I think I need to explain some more.

I already told her to program the emergency code onto a speeddial button on her cellphone.
This isn't a 'repeat' incident of sorts. It's not exactly like she is being stalked. More along the lines of : "I go to mall. Weird freaks accost me and suggest weird things. I'm creeped out and scared".

Essentially she asked me "Well, how ought to I deal with these kind of situations. If a guy approached me and said werid things, how do I get out of the situation. I don't want to act like I'm going along but at the same time, I'm scared that if I ignore them or say somehting untoward, they'll get pissed off and I might get into deeper trouble".

Thanks for the replies so far though

[cb88]

oh, in that case she needs to learn some quick witted come backs. Send her out to stay with me for a bit

With a more specific list of things that are said to her, I can give you some good come backs.

Also, she needs to learn the quick "knee to the groin" move. One can perfect it at almost lightning speed if practiced with a dummy----my ex husband might be available for that position.

[filthybeast]

Son sounds like she need to get into one of those Self Defense classes. Sure I taught them a few things but I sent Momma and my girls to the one held by the YMCA here. It was called Self Defense for Women. It cost me 35 bucks each, but it was worth it. It gave them assurance also taught them about where not to be at night. All in all it was a good deal. You might get your friend into one of these classes.