Think about it.......

[cominatcha]

How come when you go in the front door of a church, you are at the back of the church, and if you go in the back door, you would end up in the front of the church?
If your named Will and you are in the army do you get worried when people say fire at will?
Why is there an L in NOEL?
If you eat regular rice crispies with chocolate milk will it taste the same as eating co-co crispies with regular milk?
Why is Bra singular and Panties plural?
What are those little things on the end of your shoelaces called?
When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?
If they develop a supersonic train, will they give it a whistle?
Do fish ever get thirsty?
Why can't we sneeze with our eyes open?
If there were a knowledge contest, would the female winner be called Miss Informed?
If you stick on stickers on non-stick pans, would they stick on?
Why don't ducks duck when you shoot at them?
On a hamburger bun, why is the top bun always bigger than the bottom one?
Why does breaking a mirror mean seven years of bad luck when seven is a lucky number??
Can angels eat devils food cake?

[JaiSteele]

What are those little things on the end of your shoelaces called?

Since the others dont really have a definitive answer, I'll answer this one... aglets. I'm a genius.


Did you know that all porcupines float in water? What I want to know, is who was the genius that discovered that and what the hell was going through his head?!

[AMVET91ALPHA]

Dangit Jai, I knew that one too!

oh well..here are some more to give one 'food for thot'..

1. A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, "Why were you going so fast?" I said, "See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator. When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the engine. The whole car just takes right off. And see this thing? This steers it."
   
   
   
2. A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street, and...........ooooohhhhhh, that's much better...
   
3. A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, "Wish you were here."
   
4. After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
   
5. All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats. The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store...with a pricing gun...She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store."
   
6. And when I get real, real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
   
7. Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
   
8. Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I'd be the only one who knew. People come over and I'm gonna say, "Go ahead, touch it...it feels real."
   
9. Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night?
   
10. Ever notice how irons have a setting for *permanent* press? I don't get it...
    
11. Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
    
12. Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
    
13. For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier...I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
    
14. He was a multi-millionaire. Wanna know how he made all of his money? He designed the little diagrams that tell which way to put batteries in.
    
15. I bought a dog the other day...I named him Stay. It's fun to call him..."Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.
    
16. I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road; I don't know how I got there.
    
17. I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.
    
18. I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
    
19. I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it.
    
20. I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.
    
21. I broke a mirror in my house. I'm supposed to get seven years of bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
    
22. I broke my arm trying to fold a bed. It wasn't the kind that folds.
    
23. I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how." She said, "It's real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left." So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she said "I thought I told you to go to sleep."
    
24. I can't stop thinking like this.
    
25. I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.
    
26. I didn't get a toy train like the other kids. I got a toy subway instead. You couldn't see anything, but every now and then you'd hear this rumbling noise go by.
    
27. I filled out an application that said, "In Case Of Emergency Notify".I wrote "Doctor"...What's my mother going to do?
    
28. If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
    
29. If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
    
30. If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
    
31. If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
    
32. I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one...it wasn't doing what I was doing.
    
33. I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly)...and says, "Here, you can go."
    
34. I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were!
    
35. I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
    
36. I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology...the study of milkmen.
    
37. I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
    
38. I had to stop driving my car for a while...the tires got dizzy.
39. I have a map of the United States...actual size. It says, "Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile." I spent last summer folding it. I also have a full-size map of the world. I hardly ever unroll it.
    
40. I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out."
    
41. I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world...perhaps you've seen it.
    
42. I have two very rare photographs. One is a picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car. The other is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.
    
43. I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
    
44. I installed a skylight in my apartment....The people who live above me are furious!
    
45. I just bought a microwave fireplace... You can spend an evening in front of it in only eight minutes...
    
46. I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings...Boy With Pail...Kitten On Fire.
    
47. I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
    
48. I like to skate on the other side of the ice.
    
49. I lost a button hole today.
    
50. I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything I'd like?" Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, "Extra medium."
    
51. I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.
    
52. I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
    
53. I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.
    
54. I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's been hit.
    
55. I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...
    
56. I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
    
57. I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
    
58. In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out."

[JaiSteele]

A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, "Why were you going so fast?" I said, "See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator. When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the engine. The whole car just takes right off. And see this thing? This steers it."

My favorite is when a guy gets pulled over and the cop says, "I've been waiting for you all day." To which the guy responds, "Well, I got here as fast as I could."

[cominatcha]

If your going real fast,will you get there before you know it?

[JaiSteele]

Only if you're talking on your cell phone at the same time.

[AMVET91ALPHA]