[USA11B]

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day,

10 lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there

stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old

dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes

and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight

loss company.

The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her.

A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches

her and has his way with her.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the

same thing happens.

On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to

find he has lost 10 lb. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day, 20 lb. program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands

the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen

in his life.

She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign

around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me"

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent

shape and it takes him a while to catch her; but when he does, it's

worth every muscle cramp and wheeze.

For the next four days, the same routine happens.

Much to his delight, on the fifth day he weighs himself only to discover

that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day,

50 lb. program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative. "This is our most rigorous

program."

"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens

it he finds Richard Simmons standing there wearing nothing but

pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,

"If I catch you, you're mine."