[JohnRN]

A few points of interest:

1. It is certainly a cultural thing and has nothing to do with religion.
2. Inspite of what people claim, the majority of arranged marriages work out just fine. Arranged marriages were never forced marriages. Forced marriages from time immorial have rarely worked - ever.
3. This isn't a new problem.
4. Sadly, this problem won't go away that easy. You can't instill morality into a people. The problem is a patriarchial society that while revering their women, curiously also seems to treat them as property.
5. The 'elders' are very correct in claiming that it is western influence that is causing this tumult in their communities. And before anyone of you standup in self-righteous indignation, let me remind you that your own hands aren't all that clean when it comes to treating women. For example - wasn't Princess Diana's wedding a 'forced honour marriage' ?


Finally, before y'all jump the whole railroad :

I dislike arranged marriages. There are certainly noble intentions behind it, but many times noble intentions lead to disastrous results. I sincierly believe in free choice - any act that a free man/woman doesn't consent too, is an immoral act.

I have my own parental pressures to deal with - but I've thought about it. Now if my parents ask me to get married to someone they chose, out of respect for my parents, I'll consider it. But if I don't like it, I won't go through with it - it won't be fair on me, it also won't be fair to the one I'm marrying.

And if push comes to shove and they insist - or worse, threaten - I'll tell them to sod it. It pains me to say so for I love my parents very much, but they are supposed to want my happiness... not to see if I'm married, or if I'm an engineer or a janitor etc. How can they derive pleasure from my misery and unhappiness? And if they value their prestige and position in society more than my happiness, why would I want such parents?

Forced marriages are an entierly different animal - to me, I'll put it simply ::: Any man who force weds a female is as good as a kidnapper. Any man who consumates such a marriage, is as good as a rapist. All this bluster of 'family honour' is just that - bluster. The bluster of little men with even smaller minds but gigantic egos who derive great pleasure from tormenting the only people who might give them some importance in their otherwise miserable lives.